Repect of Authority & Men? HA!

I really do wish I could write about anything and everything I feel on this blog, but I'm afraid a few people of authority in my life will get a hold of it somehow. I need to vent dammit! lol Well, I guess maybe I can talk about it, but maybe not say anything direct and obvious? Ugh. Well, let's just say that lately, there's been a few people in my life whom are pissing me off. I can only think of 2 at the moment, er well, maybe 3. I think the 3rd is more of a disappointment though. But I can't help thinking about him.
Okay lets do this;

#1- I've talked SO much about this person to quite a few people lately. They've done nothing but piss me off and even made me upset in the past few weeks. They make think they have some sort of authority over me, but they are sadly mistaken. They think that they are better than me, when they havent even been doing what I've been doing for half as long as I have. I have 2 years over their 10 or 11 months, yet they tell me I don't know what I'm doing? oh hell no. I may not be able to do things that they can do, but whatever I do do, I do it 10X better than them. I really wish I could just come out and say it, because this is making me look really bad. lol but I would probably lose something semi-important. It's just that this thing in particular has just become an annoyance in my life, and is most definitely not a priority anymore. It's soon to be replaced because it causes me nothing but un needed stress and frustrated tears. Nothing is worth that anymore.

#2- So this one may be a bit more simple than the last one. Truth is, I like liked this person. From what I was told, we understand each other better than most people understand us. But if that's honestly true, why does he seem annoyed with me all the time? That truly upsets me. I would honestly like to be close friends. Yeah, at one point I wished it might've turned into more than that, but I can see now it's not what he wants and I guess it's not for me either. And we've had this discussion, and the feeling of "just-friends" was mutual. But everytime I try to get close, it seems like he freaks out and gets annoyed with me. Maybe I'm trying to become closer with him the wrong way? I guess to him it seems like I still have "more-than-friends" feelings for him, which I don't. So I don't see the problem. *sigh* I don't know what else to do.... this is one I'll have to think about.

#3- oh boy. This one may be the hardest to talk about. As I mentioned in a previous post, I'd met a guy long distance and wasn't sure how it was going to work out. Well, it hasn't. In fact, I haven't talked to him since right before the holidays. He just up and disappeared (or blocked me. Whatever) I will admit I fell too hard for someone I had never even met, but, idk how to explain it. It felt like there could be something there, and I guess I hung on a little too hard on that little something and hoped too much it would turn into something more. But I was wrong. He was someone I looked forward to talking to everyday for 4 months. and now it's been almost 3 since I talked to him last. I'll be honest, I miss talking to him. I doubt he misses me but, I do miss him.
And I know I secretly hope he somehow finds this and reads it because I no longer have the means to talk to him anymore. But this is life; it's not a hollywood script or a fairy tale where I'll get the "Happily ever after" that I wanted. and I guess that'll just be my final thoughts on that note.

Why do men and authority always seem to be my downfall? Should I turn lesbian and be my own boss? (Just kidding. Love the gays <3 Don't H8!)
Maybe I'm just too nice. Yeah, that's probably my biggest fault, but also my greatest trait. I curse myself. I really really do.
Well my 2am ramblings are done. Now tomorrow will be hell due to the fact that I have to be at both of my jobs at the same time tomorrow. Lovely.
Wish me luck, and hopefully I still have a head full of hair at the end of the day tomorrow. I'll keep the hair ripping to a minimum.

Much love,

-Mel